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The Surfing Princesses Guide to Bali

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Written by Leah
Monday, 04 April 2005
All the information any Princess needs to know to get shacked, fed and bedded (as in nice digs) in Bali, Indonesia. This post has comprehensive info about Bali history, surf breaks and their M.O., the best places to eat, sleep and party, scams and suss characters, and even a couple of funny stories. Good for those wanting to travel to Bali for a first time. Bali is a small island in between Java and Lombok, in the string of islands which makes up the Indonesian Archipelago. Bali is about 5,600 km2, 140 klm across, 80klm down. Most of the east, south and west of Bali has breaks and there’s almost always waves any time of year, within a short drive. Bali is 8 degrees south of the equator, so the average daily temp all year is about 33oC, but in May/June/July it’s dry season, it’s about 60% humidity. In the dry season, it can rain at any time of day, unlike the wet season, where it rains almost always in the arvo. The rain is really full and heavy, but it stops as quick as it starts, so just find a place out of the rain and wait 5 minutes. There are almost 3,000,000 people on Bali island alone, it works out at about 520 people p/klm2. It’s densely populated and traffic is becoming psychotic on the island. Feeling game to tackle the traffic? The religion on Bali island is Hindu. The rest of Indo is Islam. When Islam swept through S-E Asia 600 years ago, the last great Hindu dynasty scarpered over to Bali from Java with the full entourage of scholars and gurus and the Balinese embraced the religion on account of their odds and the intensity of the Hindu crew. The Balinese trust in the law of karma rather strongly. There are a couple of things you need to know to stay well and enjoy your time in Bali. GET THE SCOOP ON THE CUSTOMS SCAMMERS On entry and exit of the country, keep a few small notes in your wallet and put your other money out of sight of scamming customs agents. One of my mates didn’t have the required 6 months remaining on his passport and the customs dogs leapt on the opportunity to extort him. He didn’t have a Japanese yen note smaller than 10,000, and that’s what he had to fork over. AS IF they’d give you change. So take, and keep on you, small notes for bribes. 2x20AUD’s for customs, about 10,000 rupiah for around town. I never paid a single fine or bribe in all the time I was in Bali. Arriving in Bali for my first time, I cruised down to the beach to check out the sitch and ended up in the cop shop chatting with the blokes on duty. They are the tourist police, rather than traffic police. There’s a few posts dotted around town. They’re pretty friendly, I bought ‘em cokes and they gave me some party food from the weekend. After that, whenever I needed to know to do something about licensing or rules or where something was at, I’d just bowl round and ask PJ (Senior Connie Putra Jaya). It just eventuated that when I had a problem, they’d help me out. For example, I was on the back of the bike with one of my Jappie mates one night and the cops over the other side of town nailed China for no helmet (I was wearing it. Very chivalrous of him). The cop took his license, told China to show up at the main police office next day with the equivalent of 350AUD if he wanted his license back, and disappeared into the night. Japanese licenses are worth 3000AUD to replace. Next day, I cruised up to the post and mentioned it to PJ, they were on it straightaway and I had China’s license back in my hand within the hour with a face up apology from the officer in question. Ya gotta get stuff wired up. :) Drugs. If anyone offers you anything, keep walking. They more than likely could be police dogs. There are guys from Oz up in Chenggu prison serving 25 years because they were caught with a bit of pot. The dope scene is long gone, so don’t even give it a second thought. You can still get mushroom omelettes in some places. Just make sure you’re with good mates if you get on mushies, remember, you’re far from home and good help if shit goes down, and it usually does in Indo. Drinking water. Running at a close second is the drinking water in Indo. The water is non potable and can make you violently ill in a New York minute L It will put you out of commission for the best part of a week if you get a gobful. Buy filtered water in bottles, or better still, go down to Matahari-the local supa, and buy a kettle for $4.00 and boil your own, just to be sure. The voltage, by the way is 220V, 50 Hz. When you’re in a restaurant, make sure you don’t drink any drinks with ice in them. Just send it back and change your order. They reckon the ice is made from UV treated water, but just take a look around-what do you reckon? Don't eat any salad or fruit that has been washed in water or appears to be wet. Don’t even brush you teeth in it. A small amount is enough to give you a decent guts ache, and you don’t want to miss any of the wave action. It’s imperative that you don’t drink the water. Driving/hiring a motorcycle. The traffic is gnarly in Indo. I love it, since I learned to drive in Rome, which is on par with Bali traffic. It’s sort of like a racetrack without the rules. It isn’t for the feint hearted, so if you’re at all doubting your ability, stick with the taxis. There’s the idea of having some tin around your head in a Kajeng (RV), but you will tend to get caught up in every traffic jam there is. It’s a good way to go if you go with a tribe. If it’s just one or two of you and you’re game, go the moped. Just keep your eyes open and really follow the road rules coz the cops are always on the lookout for lunch money/house payments, etc. Ask around among other crew who have hired vehicles, regarding the notorious traps the cops set for tourists. The hill to Ulu’s is famous and the cops will stop whiteys for anything and find fault with anything, especially your papers/licencing/hire conditions, so make sure you’re sorted in that department. Money Changers You’ve probably heard the stories from crew getting ripped off. The sport is alive and well, and they have many tricks to their game. A classic is the rigged calculator, so take your own and do the math before you go inside. The favorite is counting your money again after you have counted it, but they let a few notes drop down behind the counter and hand it back to you, smiling. The most reliable way to get around this without getting that far is having them count it out in front of you, then counting it to make sure it is correct, then PUT IT AWAY, STRAIGHTAWAY. Don’t let them touch it again. The ATM by the Hard Rock allow you to take out 1,250,000 rupiah a day (most only let you take out 250,000). A chemist in Bali is called an Apotik. There’s one at either end of town. They do really good vitamin concoctions in pill form and carry basic medicines like panadol, and dressings, but little else. If you need any other medications you’ll need to see a doctor for a script. Another mission. Expect to wait. The place to make a phonecall or use the Net is called a ‘wartel’ If you need to make an ISD call. Taxis – if you need to get anywhere, like the Night Market or around the city, and don’t feel like walking you can take a Blue taxi. These taxis some are a lot cleaner and well-equipped than others. Blue taxis are Bali taxis , the other are run by Javanese and have no meters and there’s a good chance you’ll get ripped off. Before you get into the cab, ask if they have a meter, and ask for an estimate. It helps if you’ve read the maps a bit and know what’s where-otherwise you might get taken on the longest possible route. The whole night scene is full-on you won’t realise until you’re on your third lap of the same block. Dogs... ...The dogs howl at night and bark at anything. They are never reprimanded, according to superstition, reincarnated souls inhabit the bodies of dogs, and it might be a relative you’re telling to be quiet, so don’t expect any support from the locals in that area. You need to be a deep sleeper! The crowing roosters and howling dogs start up at dark, and they don’t stop until dawn, sometimes not even then. The Chicken Story A mate told me of a time when he arrived from the US and stayed in a losmen, (a small family-run hotel). As is his custom, for the first week or so he was trashed at Paddy’s, the local nightclub, and slept through it all day, but after he got the party bug out of his system he started to notice this rooster crowing. But the rooster didn’t just crow, it crowed a half-strangled screech every ten seconds-you could time it! So he mentioned to the Bapak, the owner, of the losmen, that roosty was pretty vocal. Bapak just laughed. This went on for a few days and Shawn mentioned it again, again Bapak laughed. Shawn was on the balcony trying to read and this stupid rooster just wouldn’t shut up, and as the afternoon wore on it became intolerable so he went downstairs and around to the next door’s compound and found the Bapak and pointing to the squarking rooster said, ‘Berapa manis?’, which is Bahasa for ‘how much for the chicken?’ Most of the family had already crowded around by now, wanting to know what the ‘bullei’ wanted. Bapak said, ‘Lima sia rupiah’ (5000 rupiah, about 50c U.S.), (Bapak’s naming a price means the chicken is for sale). Shawn handed him a 5000 rupe note and Bapak handed Shawn the chicken with a sort of stoked spring in his movements. Shawn promptly grabbed the rooster by the neck, cracked it dead and handed it to Bapak and said “Selamat makan’, Bahasa for ‘enjoy your meal’. The whole lot of them just broke into roaring laughing! They cheered and clapped and Shawn retreated to his verandah to carry on reading his book. He said he heard them burst out laughing for days after. Earplugs are advisable. If that doesn't work, Valium is about 10,000 rupes for a box of 20. The Surf There are tons of breaks on Bali. All of the breaks are reef with the exception of Kuta, Legian and Omeroi which are sand bottom. Along Legian gets nice lines and is a smooth rolling wave, but still has grunt. The swells come in from the Indian ocean so the surf is on the south side. But it also comes in from the north-west coast of Nusa Lembongan where the swell funnels into the strait between there and Bali. Because of the temperature of the water, you should use tropical wax. If your boards aren’t prepared, get some acetone and combs or use a bowl of hot water to get the old wax off. A block of wax is about $AUD8.00 at most surf shops, so bring a stash unless you want to fork out. Wearing booties is advisable, it makes getting in and out of the water easier, plus jumping off coral ledges is safer with booties on. A quick overview of the selection of waves on the peninsula starting at Padangbai. Padangbai is where the ferry to Lombok leaves from. Sanur-excellent right reef break. Hyatt Reef- a right hander, straight out front of Hyatt resort Shifty – a righthand, peaks about 1 klm offshore Greenballs – a consistent right reef break Nyang-Nyang – a good right just before Uluwatu. A northerly will get Greenballs and Nyang-Nyang going Uluwatu- Ulu’s has about 7 different breaks. If it’s your first time to Ulu’s it’s good if you sit and watch her a while and survey the situation. See where other surfers are sitting in the line-up and watch where they flick off The Corner is straight in front, it’s a fast breaking, hollow left that holds about 6 foot. The shelf reef under is really shallow, so try to avoid falling head first. To get access to the water, you have to climb down the rocks. There are sea snakes living in amongst the rocks, their bite is deadly, but they have tiny mouths, which means they need to bite you on the toe or finger to do any damage. They don’t have overly fast reflexes. Again, your booties come in handy. The Peak- is a high tide hollow, workable left and out behind The Peak is The Bommie - bombora that doesn’t start working until the swell is about 10 foot. Race Track – a mid-low tide screaming left barrel, usually only ridden by goofy footers because of its speed. Outside Corner gets going on a low tide with a bigger swell that goes off over 8 feet and lasts for 100’s of metres. You’ll need a bigger board for Outsides. Padang – a really hollow left tube, ledgey take-off, you power along the bottom before pulling into the barrel. The last section of the barrel turns inside out like a washing machine on fast forward. You have to drive high through this section, all the time while in the tube. But don’t worry if you don’t swing it, because the wave fills up and you flick off. It’s a gutsy wave, best to surf it without a crowd. Bingin – partly accessible by road, partly by hike- about 1 klm. Bingin is a clean, fun left tube, best at mid-tide with a 6 foot swell. Impossibles – the outside reef, a very fast long left, but don’t stay on for too long Belangan – a good crowd beater and a good alternative when the tide is too high. Belangan’s a long racy left over shallow reef that is good up to 10 foot, and then it becomes deadly, Stedly. Sucks up dry. Airport Lefts and Rights - hollow waves near the end of the runway-there’s a beautiful sight- a daytime landing at Denpasar airport when Airports is going off! Kuta Reef-a solid left that bowls through the inside Kuta Beach to Legian has a variety of beachies that often go off on high tide Changgu – left and right reef breaks, works on full tide Medewi – a soft long left point break which can give a ride right into the river mouth. This break is an early bird, the wind gets into it and blows it out. There’s tons of fun to be had, it’s a candy store of awesome waves to be had for the choosing, and they just keep coming. Lembongan Island Took the mid-range ferry over, 1OOK, Got quite soaked, but it was sorta fun, hot day and all. Stayed at Pondok Baruna. Hotel is good, service is good. The 4 surf points Playgrounds, Lacerations, Shipwrecks and the other one I can’t remember at the moment. They’re right out front, just a short paddle which is a bonus. The choice of waves is great. The surfers I met there were amongst the friendliestI'd met in Indonesia. Probably because of the 'island style'- they stay there for weeks at a time. It had a nice community feel, me and my Jappie mates got a ton of nice waves, and there was no aggro. Except when an Aussie guy dropped in on an American, the American went off his rocker. Later I asked him why he got so mad and he produced a folio of photos and showed me the section on 'reef wipeouts'. Faarc… Still, he was a bit intense. Lets BURN SOME TRASH!!! The island itself is filthy. They too, have the ritual of burning plastic everyday, vast piles of trash in every vacant lot up behind the main drag, hundreds and hundreds of dead batteries leaking mercury into the water on the beachfront, rusted tin cans, broken glass, cigarette butts, fishing line and plastic bags line the oceanfront and you see all of it as the tide goes out. There are massive piles of trash at the end of the beach where you walk around out to Playgrounds. The water’s not so clean anyway, and the snorkelling area has a thick slick of sunblock over it by 12.00pm every day from boatload after boatload of snorkellers rolling up which doesn’t help. There's a good dive centre at Pondok Baruna, an English fellow and his wife own it. 1/2 day beginner dive US$50. 5 Days Padi open water-US$250 Advanced Open Water, includes night diving -US$225 Padi Medic First Aid, 1 day of CPR and 1st Aid training-US$75 Padi Rescue Course 4 days, US$275. No hidden extras. All prices are all inclusive. Web address www.world-diving.com ph 62 (0) 812 390 0686 One of the main things you look for in a dive instructor is compatibility. You want to be sure that he's on your side and will 'be there' when you're down there. These people have a good set up. There are some things to remember to maximise your up time in Indo... The most important out in the water, the ultimate rule, no matter HOW good a surfer you are; DON’T DROP IN. Even if you’re Jimmy Slater, don’t drop in. If you do, be ready to die. It will see you in hospital, if not from the injuries you sustain, from the beating the guy gives you back on the beach (if you’re able to walk). You can kill someone by dropping in over here. It’s not like back home with the soft, cushy sand and deep water. Underneath these waves are solid coral shelves. That’s the reason for the perfect shape of the wave, but they can be lethal. Guys get killed and busted up often. You need to see for yourself the extent of the damage to soft, human flesh and bone dropping in does. Your wetsuit may as well be a Kleenex as far as protection goes against hitting reef. Speaking of karma, Indonesians believe that if you do something wrong, like drop in, or rip something off, karma evens it out. So, if you get dropped in on, they reckon you probably deserved it (somehow). The main superstition in the water is: don’t wear lime green boardies. I thought it was a joke at first, but the locals are deadly serious. Uluwatu is a very spiritual place, and it is also very dangerous. There was and still is a lot of sacrifice action going on in that cliff area. Not to mention the snakes that live in the caves at Ulu’s, and the full-blown savage monkeys that come out on dusk. There are many underwater tornados occurring in the area, they’ll suck a human down underwater and the funnel can carry them hundreds of metres away. Ironically, the only bodies they have found had green boardies on. It’s your call. ...Keep in mind that in Indo there are no helicopters to pluck you from the ocean should you get into trouble, and the medical help is sooooo sub standard. Main health concerns are: · Be as careful as you can to not get any cuts or breaks on your skin. Things get septic really fast and that keeps you out of the water. · Don’t ingest the water at all. Don’t even brush your teeth in it. No ice in drinks. Bali Belly will keep you nailed to the bed. · Stay away from guys offering you drugs. Get aware to the scams going on, the police dogs disguised as povvo youth. · Keep your stuff locked in a safety box chained to your bed in your room, and remember to lock the door on your way out. · You blokes, look out for ‘Benchongs’ – Mr. Lady’s Roosters, dogs barking and plastics burning seems to be the bane of everyone wanting to get a good rest and some shack action. Those three little pretties invade your night just as the hassling vendors and stress of the chaotic traffic do the day. Yes, earplugs are a great way to go. Some highlights: Make a mental note of some of the of the local landmarks so you can get your bearings. The taxi drivers like to take Cherry Voyagers on a ride around the same block a few times to rack up some mileage. Head down to J-Bay Cafe on Jimbaran Bay to see a kecak dance. Those are pretty cool. Sample some of the local fare-fresh reef fish in all kinds of marinades, traditional Balinese style. See Pete. If you’re looking to head out, there’s Tubes, they have pretty good food, cold Bintang and a huge screen with continuous surf vids. going. KUNTI Japanese restaurant on Jl Legian, Kuta, adjacent to Popies I, great food, great staff and great prices. Great air con. Not at all expensive. 20-30K a dish. Have cold Japanese beer. No desserts. Wayan and Friends Bar and Restaurant on Jl Padma Legian. 0361)761024. A favourite in Kuta. Good steaks, 30K, cooked to perfection with just the right sauces. Fishes and vegetables are good. Beer is icy cold. T.J's Mexican in Popies Lane I, Kuta is a great spot for a good night. 12 of us got loose on tequila one night, our table was situated next to the water, one of the guys went backward into the pond about 8 feet down. It was piss funny and the staff were great about it, giving us towels to dry him off. Dinner and drinks works out at about 150K each. PURNAMA FULLMOON Steakhouse Bar and Restaurant. Jl Petitenget, Kerobokan, Kuta. Ph 0361)730 629 - call ‘em to get directions. Between here, Kunti and Wayan's I was WELL fed! They have that home cooked taste, with a Euro menu. Everything tastes just as you would expect it to taste. Greek souvlaki to Cannelloni, Garlic prawns, you gotta try their Pumpkin Soup. Oh, Man! The owner, Melody Kariarta, an Aussie, cracks the whip with the chefs and staff to make sure only excellent food and service are given. This place was such a relief from "ordering and getting a completely different tasting meal", or, staring at your meal thinking "what the hell is this??" The beer is icy cold. I keep mentioning joints that have icy cold beer because a lot of places don’t. In summer cold soldiers are hard to come by coz the whole place is SO HOT.Plus the fridges are overworked at Circle K (Bali’s 7-11) There is a Matahari Supermarket/Department store on Legian and another in Kuta Square. You can buy almost anything you need there. WHERE TO STAY IN BALI Stay at Un’s. I wouldn’t stay anywhere else, now. It rocks. You got style with cruise, it’s central, but just off the pulse so the Kuta vibe isn’t in your face. Good service at an excellent price. If you can’t get in at Un’s, stay at Komalah Indah Cottages down by Jalan Pantai. A bit cruisier, a bit away from the scene but you get a good rest and the cottages are great. Just walk through the coconut palms to check the surf – the only place in Kuta Central where you can still do that. If they’re full, you can slum it at Cempaka 1, across from Warung 96. Cempaka is a great location, especially out on the steps at Circle K, where you can hang and drink beers with your mates and meet new people. I had some great fun at Cempaka 1 when Sensational Shano, Tele, Kevo, Big Dog, Markus Farkus and Dan Can Can rolled into town. They were the main constituents of that crazy night at TJ’s Mexican… Bali Magic. It’s very real! UBUD Stayed at Kajeng Bungalows, 29 Kajeng Rd. Great valley view, the height of the rushing waterfall drowns out the barking of the multitude of dogs barking and roosters crowing. The pool is nice, next to it is a swamp trying to pass off as a pond. Swerve room # 6 - it's located next to a pig in a pigpen- i.e.your bedroom wall, then pig in a pig pen. On a hot humid day the stench is unbelievable, but you can only smell it from inside the room. The Pig Room is 90K for two people. Changed rooms up to the top level next to the waterfall. Much better. 95K, no stench. The deluxe suites are quite nice, 200K, but if you are Japanese expect to pay at least a million a night. Take some warm clothes to Ubud in summer, but especially in the 'winter' months –May - August it gets COLD up there. Well, you are in high mountain area. Both Lindy and I caught bad colds because of the drop in temps. You cannot buy a jacket anywhere in Kuta and there's no Matahari in Ubud. If you plan to go on to Rinjani, take warm clothes- it gets shivvery cold! I'd give the Monkey Forest the swerve. They are horrible, lice ridden creatures which steal anything that is not secured and run up in the trees with it. They are little pricks. ZEN Day Spa. Located at Jalan Hanoman, off Monkey Forest Road. A highlight of the trip from the girly side. Book in for the MANDI LULUR (full body massage, cumin body scrub, then yoghurt embalmment -1 hour 20 mins.) Then the girls run a bath to the temperature you want, pouring in huge baskets of fresh flowers covering the surface of the water, complete with sandalwood oils. The room overlooks a view of lush paddy fields (which do not smell-usually rice paddies pong) lined with coconut palms and a backdrop of the cloud shrouded deep green mountains. A lovely cup of darjeeling tea and fresh honeydew and rockmelon wedges on skewers as a refreshment. 90K is what you’ll pay. Luxury makes squalor so much easier to live with. You will need to request the 'Rice Paddy Room'. It is by far the best room at Zen Day Spa, and you can go in two’s so take a friend. Phone for a reservation: 0361) 970976. Ubud Restaurants KAGEMUSHA on Jl Pengosekan. Ph 0361)973134, it was EXCELLENT and the chef is Japanese.The miso was good, I had chicken bento and udon, both were good. Lynds had tempura, she said it was good. They import the rice from Japan and the prices were reasonable considering the good quality of the food. Hanging out for a bit of cake? Cakes and coffee at Casa Luna, Jalan Raya, Ubud-the best in Bali. The views at the back of the restaurant are of the valley/waterfall. The interior of the restaurant is salubrious! For the best massage in Bali… INKO BALI MASSAGE, Jl By Pass Ngurah Rai 110X Suwung-Denpasar. Ph 722 431/ 724 752 Offers free transport, a free drink and a lovely hot shower afterwards. Such an improvement on those beach hags with hawk talons for fingers, bless ‘em. Further to that, get shacked off your brain, eat like a king, get phat back rubs and have lots of good times with your guy or girl. There’s heaps to do and you’ll have a ball once you carve your groove. Bali’s a blast. Ends Post script... It's now a couple of years since I wrote this. How ironic I said "Bali's a blast". I remember sitting watching the hand-over-fist momentum that was going on in Kuta wondering, "What's it going to take to slow all of this down?" It really was out of control, it was hilarious. It was the best fair dinkum time you could legally have.
Last Updated ( Saturday, 31 March 2007 )

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